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Jeffrey's Story
When Jeffrey*, a 23 year old African-American male came to My Friend's Place
in early 2007, he had already been living on the streets for five years.
He had spent his teenage years shuttling between group homes and his
mother's house. At his mother's house, Jeffrey and his five siblings
were exposed to drug use and physical as well as emotional abuse.
Things were not much better at the group homes. When he turned 18,
Jeffrey left the group home and began living on the streets.
Even as he struggled with homelessness, Jeffrey excelled in high school
earning a degree and the respect of his basketball coach. With his
coach's help, Jeffrey got recruited to play ball at a local Junior College.
He began classes, but as he struggled with life on the streets, he stopped
playing basketball and shortly thereafter became unable to meet the
requirements to keep his financial aid. Without the needed resources,
Jeffrey had to drop out of college. As his life lifetime goals seemed
to be slipping away and the abusive voice of his mother returned, he sought
out drugs and alcohol in an attempt to dull his pain and distract his mind.
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By the
time he walked through MFP's doors, Jeffrey was
struggling with his addiction. For weeks, he
visited MFP only for meals and companionship with
other young people. One day, one of Jeffrey's
friends approached an MFP staff member and expressed
concern for Jeffrey. He was becoming
increasingly aggressive and depressed.
A few days later, at the urging of his friends,
Jeffrey met with an MFP case manager. He was
concerned about his own behavior, saying that the
recent death of his grandmother combined with the
challenged of life on the streets were making it
hard to hold things together. As he began to
talk about his challenges, Jeffrey began to build
strong rapport with the case manager.
Working with the case manager over time, Jeffrey
identified getting off the streets as one of his
primary needs. Although he felt close to the
community he had built during his time on the
streets, Jeffrey came to see that, by getting
housing, he could lead his friends to greater
stability by example. With the support of his
case manager, Jeffrey applied to a highly selective
transitional living program.
Jeffrey took the initiative, traveling over 30 miles
to interview with the housing program and attend a
three day orientation. In August, he was
accepted to the program and MFP staff helped him
move his belongings to his new home last month.
Within one week, he had applied for and been offered
a job. Today, Jeffrey is housed, has
opportunities for employment and he has started
playing basketball again.
Although My Friend's Place staff helped, Jeffrey
took the first step toward stability on his own by
identifying getting off the streets as a priority.
We were fortunate to be there for that moment and
help Jeffrey achieve his goal of becoming more
self-sufficient.
Jonathan's Story
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Jonathan* was drunk multiple times
before ever completing elementary school; his father fed him bourbon so
Jonathan would resist less while being sexually molested. On the night
his mother was released from jail, Jonathan rode eagerly by his
father's side to pick her up. Pulling off at rest stop, his father
convinced Jonathan to stay in the car while he went inside to make a
phone call. He never returned. Jonathan was 8 years old.
Old enough to vividly remember the abuse and the anxious feelings of
abandonment; Jonathan displayed violent behavior toward caregivers
while struggling with the disruption in his young life. Interventions
by psychiatric staff resulted in heavy, inconsistent medication.
Removed from over ten placements in eight years, Jonathan ran to the
streets after witnessing a vicious fight where his foster mother pulled
a gun on her estranged husband.
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When Jonathan first
visited My Friend's Place, he was 16 years old, extremely withdrawn and
heavily dependent on the alcohol that had first helped him numb the
pain of his father's sexual abuse. As he ate lunch on his second day, a
staff member addressed him by name to invite him to a photography
workshop. Jonathan made eye contact for the first time and barely
uttered, "You remember my name?"
That moment of rapport convinced Jonathan to join the workshop where
volunteers guided him on how to express himself in a positive,
non-violent way. In the months that followed Jonathan learned that our
encouragement is unconditional and unwavering. Working with a Clinical
Case Worker, he explored a substance abuse issues group, entered a
treatment program and began to confront the nightmares of his past in
weekly therapeutic sessions.
This month, Jonathan turned 17. Our staff marked his 100th day of
sobriety by helping him secure health benefits through Medi-Cal,
coaching him through a phone interview for his first job, and
celebrating a life of peril transformed into a life of promise.
Allison's Story
A few weeks ago, we received a phone call from Allison*, a youth who
used to visit us regularly. Allison shared how so many things are
different for her daughter than they were for Allison herself as a
four-year-old. Her little girl has no bruises, smiles with healthy
chubby cheeks, and most significantly, holds her pre-school teacher's
hand with eagerness rather than fear.
Although teachers tried to help Allison by reporting evidence of abuse,
as a child Allison categorized them as typical adults who lied and let
her down. Teachers were no different than her mother who told Allison
she was loved yet denied her food or burnt her with cigarettes if she
played too loud. Neither could be trusted.
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At
13, Allison forgot to take out the trash and was locked out of the
house on a cold, rainy night. She wandered to the highway and sold her
body for the first time - exchanging sex for a ride. Amidst the sewage
and crime on the streets of Hollywood, Allison actually felt safer than
at home. At My Friend's Place, Allison found food and joined workshops
about music, cooking and HIV/AIDS prevention, eventually discovering
she was pregnant at our onsite clinic provided by the Mobile Health
Team from Children's Hospital Los Angeles and the LA Free Clinic. At
the time, Allison was 16 years old.
Now 20, Allison says she realizes our staff were in fact teaching her
at a time when she would have typically rejected instruction by adults.
She recalls the workshops as her favorite memory and says for the first
time she found adults she could trust. We shared options but made no
ultimatums and served Allison unconditionally, always believing in her
potential. Eventually, Allison herself believed that life was valuable
and chose to try a shelter program and therapy.
Because of Allison's bravery, her little girl is mostly concerned about
field trips to the zoo and sparkly pink sneakers rather than pain and
tears. And while Allison still has nightmares about her childhood, her
daydreams are bright and joyful. What is miraculous is that Allison
believes her dreams can come true. And so do we.
*Names and some details have been changed to preserve the anonymity of the youth we serve..
The
pieces below were created by our youth during workshops led by Master's
Level writing students at California Institute of the Arts.
Freeway 101
Waking up
and coming
outside to see
all the cars
passing by
on the 101
freeway.
Night is scary
waking up in the tent...
not knowing
if I'm going to step on something
nasty or if I step wrong
I might fall...
Never in my life did I ever imagine
I would lay my
head to sleep on a freeway...
A Letter of Encouragement
You are strong within yourself
You don't need no one else
Mind your business and you'll be fine.
Mess with someone else's, you'll be blind.
Stay to yourself, learn to be kind
Because realness, you will rarely find.
So if you feel you should go
Do what's the best that you know
Don't follow other people's lead
Worry about being blown
Wanting to be known.
When the strength is brought on it's own.
There's no way you'll be behind a window on the phone.
From the sickness feeling alone
Somehow you'll be chilling at home
Maybe getting some dome
But doing a lot better
Just because you read this letter.
Untitled
Day after day I sit in the shadow of my corrupt life hoping
to find some meaning to what I hope for the future; all I
can see is darkness. My fears of staying homeless and not
manifesting my true self feels like danger that can't be controlled!
Don't give up are the words everyone keeps telling me,
but giving up seems to be the only option to a twisted horrid life.
Untitled
I live in a building
that's gone to hell
holes in the ceiling,
all windows gone.
The walls are tagged up,
trash all over the floors.
The electricity's off,
no water at all.
This is the place,
that gives you the creeps,
yet some of us live here,
it's our home.
It's not the best place,
not even close,
yet don't judge us too badly,
it's only temporary.
Wisdom
"Today marks a new step for me."
Always believe in yourself and that each day
counts as what you do or say. No matter
whatever in the past. Leave it behind you
and focus toward the future. Be careful of
what you do and what you say. Cause the
outcome can shape your future.
I am sort of trying to do this even when
things are wrong there is always something
coming out of it. There will always be
situations in life and no matter what
happens I always have to remain positive.
In Hollywood
In Hollywood, the homeless life has changed me.
And now 2 years later, I'm being all I can be,
with school, a job, and my higher power,
altogether I'm getting stronger and stronger
I've met many friends along the way
who've gotten me trouble, tribulation, and pain
and when I thought my life had come to an end
back on my feet, I will not break or bend
so now as they look through the clearing of the
mist they only see me along, standing with a
raised fist victorious because I know the inevitable
because the progress of my life has shown
I'm invincible!!!
Under the Skin
Sometimes I wonder
Will they ever catch me in a blunder,
The Sand's sinking so fast,
Will I really last,
Or will I go under,
While I hear the scream of the storm,
And the crack of the thunder,
Electricity flows through my veins,
Searching for its plunder,
Excruciating pains,
Lying on the surface of my skin,
No, they're somewhere deeper.
Here and Now Window
I look out my window
now, I SEE myself
progressing. I SEE
myself furthering my
education. I SEE
myself striving to get
my master's degree
and becoming a
physical therapist.
Before that I see
myself getting a part
time job of full time.
Just right now I'm
healing to a stronger
window. The one I'm
at now.
Higher Into the Sky
As I wonder why
That I can't even cry
As I try to run and hide
From the pain that lies inside
Cause in no one do I confide
And I know I have to find a way
To live through the day
And there's nothing left to say
Yeah
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