Stories of Hope


Jeffrey's Story
When Jeffrey*, a 23 year old African-American male came to My Friend's Place in early 2007, he had already been living on the streets for five years.  He had spent his teenage years shuttling between group homes and his mother's house.  At his mother's house, Jeffrey and his five siblings were exposed to drug use and physical as well as emotional abuse.  Things were not much better at the group homes.  When he turned 18, Jeffrey left the group home and began living on the streets.

Even as he struggled with homelessness, Jeffrey excelled in high school earning a degree and the respect of his basketball coach.  With his coach's help, Jeffrey got recruited to play ball at a local Junior College.  He began classes, but as he struggled with life on the streets, he stopped playing basketball and shortly thereafter became unable to meet the requirements to keep his financial aid.  Without the needed resources, Jeffrey had to drop out of college.  As his life lifetime goals seemed to be slipping away and the abusive voice of his mother returned, he sought out drugs and alcohol in an attempt to dull his pain and distract his mind.
By the time he walked through MFP's doors, Jeffrey was struggling with his addiction.  For weeks, he visited MFP only for meals and companionship with other young people.  One day, one of Jeffrey's friends approached an MFP staff member and expressed concern for Jeffrey.  He was becoming increasingly aggressive and depressed.

A few days later, at the urging of his friends, Jeffrey met with an MFP case manager.  He was concerned about his own behavior, saying that the recent death of his grandmother combined with the challenged of life on the streets were making it hard to hold things together.  As he began to talk about his challenges, Jeffrey began to build strong rapport with the case manager.

Working with the case manager over time, Jeffrey identified getting off the streets as one of his primary needs.  Although he felt close to the community he had built during his time on the streets, Jeffrey came to see that, by getting housing, he could lead his friends to greater stability by example.  With the support of his case manager, Jeffrey applied to a highly selective transitional living program.

Jeffrey took the initiative, traveling over 30 miles to interview with the housing program and attend a three day orientation.  In August, he was accepted to the program and MFP staff helped him move his belongings to his new home last month.  Within one week, he had applied for and been offered a job.  Today, Jeffrey is housed, has opportunities for employment and he has started playing basketball again.

Although My Friend's Place staff helped, Jeffrey took the first step toward stability on his own by identifying getting off the streets as a priority.  We were fortunate to be there for that moment and help Jeffrey achieve his goal of becoming more self-sufficient.


 Jonathan's Story
Jonathan* was drunk multiple times before ever completing elementary school; his father fed him bourbon so Jonathan would resist less while being sexually molested. On the night his mother was released from jail, Jonathan rode eagerly by his father's side to pick her up. Pulling off at rest stop, his father convinced Jonathan to stay in the car while he went inside to make a phone call. He never returned. Jonathan was 8 years old.

Old enough to vividly remember the abuse and the anxious feelings of abandonment; Jonathan displayed violent behavior toward caregivers while struggling with the disruption in his young life. Interventions by psychiatric staff resulted in heavy, inconsistent medication. Removed from over ten placements in eight years, Jonathan ran to the streets after witnessing a vicious fight where his foster mother pulled a gun on her estranged husband.

When Jonathan first visited My Friend's Place, he was 16 years old, extremely withdrawn and heavily dependent on the alcohol that had first helped him numb the pain of his father's sexual abuse. As he ate lunch on his second day, a staff member addressed him by name to invite him to a photography workshop. Jonathan made eye contact for the first time and barely uttered, "You remember my name?"

That moment of rapport convinced Jonathan to join the workshop where volunteers guided him on how to express himself in a positive, non-violent way. In the months that followed Jonathan learned that our encouragement is unconditional and unwavering. Working with a Clinical Case Worker, he explored a substance abuse issues group, entered a treatment program and began to confront the nightmares of his past in weekly therapeutic sessions.

This month, Jonathan turned 17. Our staff marked his 100th day of sobriety by helping him secure health benefits through Medi-Cal, coaching him through a phone interview for his first job, and celebrating a life of peril transformed into a life of promise.


Allison's Story
A few weeks ago, we received a phone call from Allison*, a youth who used to visit us regularly. Allison shared how so many things are different for her daughter than they were for Allison herself as a four-year-old. Her little girl has no bruises, smiles with healthy chubby cheeks, and most significantly, holds her pre-school teacher's hand with eagerness rather than fear.

Although teachers tried to help Allison by reporting evidence of abuse, as a child Allison categorized them as typical adults who lied and let her down. Teachers were no different than her mother who told Allison she was loved yet denied her food or burnt her with cigarettes if she played too loud. Neither could be trusted.

At 13, Allison forgot to take out the trash and was locked out of the house on a cold, rainy night. She wandered to the highway and sold her body for the first time - exchanging sex for a ride. Amidst the sewage and crime on the streets of Hollywood, Allison actually felt safer than at home. At My Friend's Place, Allison found food and joined workshops about music, cooking and HIV/AIDS prevention, eventually discovering she was pregnant at our onsite clinic provided by the Mobile Health Team from Children's Hospital Los Angeles and the LA Free Clinic. At the time, Allison was 16 years old.

Now 20, Allison says she realizes our staff were in fact teaching her at a time when she would have typically rejected instruction by adults. She recalls the workshops as her favorite memory and says for the first time she found adults she could trust. We shared options but made no ultimatums and served Allison unconditionally, always believing in her potential. Eventually, Allison herself believed that life was valuable and chose to try a shelter program and therapy.

Because of Allison's bravery, her little girl is mostly concerned about field trips to the zoo and sparkly pink sneakers rather than pain and tears. And while Allison still has nightmares about her childhood, her daydreams are bright and joyful. What is miraculous is that Allison believes her dreams can come true. And so do we.

*Names and some details have been changed to preserve the anonymity of the youth we serve..
Voices of Hope

The following pieces are examples of Creative Writing written by our youth during workshops led by Master's Level writing students at California Institute of the Arts.


Wisdom

"Today marks a new step for me."
Always believe in yourself and that each day
counts as what you do or say. No matter
whatever in the past. Leave it behind you
and focus toward the future. Be careful of
what you do and what you say. Cause the
outcome can shape your future.

I am sort of trying to do this even when
things are wrong there is always something
coming out of it. There will always be
situations in life and no matter what
happens I always have to remain positive.


In Hollywood

In Hollywood, the homeless life has changed me.
And now 2 years later, I'm being all I can be,
with school, a job, and my higher power,
altogether I'm getting stronger and stronger

I've met many friends along the way
who've gotten me trouble, tribulation, and pain
and when I thought my life had come to an end
back on my feet, I will not break or bend

so now as they look through the clearing of the
mist they only see me along, standing with a
raised fist victorious because I know the inevitable
because the progress of my life has shown
I'm invincible!!!


Under the Skin

Sometimes I wonder
Will they ever catch me in a blunder,
The Sand's sinking so fast,
Will I really last,
Or will I go under,
While I hear the scream of the storm,
And the crack of the thunder,
Electricity flows through my veins,
Searching for its plunder,
Excruciating pains,
Lying on the surface of my skin,
No, they're somewhere deeper.


Eyes For Us To See With

Someone told me that the eyes…
Are for us to see with, But then…
I ask "so is the lids to wipe out
The tragedies around us?" But then
How can we know that it's near
If we didn't hear? But then there's
Joy, it comes with a cheek and a smile
And most of all teeth which encloses
With a deep powerful laughter that
Controls your inner soul from within.
But to end is where it really begins
The heart which equals the rest of
you and me.

Ha, ha, ha…


"Pull Me Through" (Lyrics)

We wait impatiently as the moments pass
Never knowing if we'll break the glass
A broken smile, another year gone past
Trying to make the moments last

Will it soon break me down
With me left here just hanging around
Nothing else left for me to do
What will I find to pull me through


Here and Now Window

I look out my window
now, I SEE myself
progressing. I SEE
myself furthering my
education. I SEE
myself striving to get
my master's degree
and becoming a
physical therapist.
Before that I see
myself getting a part
time job of full time.
Just right now I'm
healing to a stronger
window. The one I'm
at now.


Higher Into the Sky

As I wonder why
That I can't even cry
As I try to run and hide
From the pain that lies inside
Cause in no one do I confide
And I know I have to find a way
To live through the day
And there's nothing left to say
Yeah